A Life Lesson

January 19th, 2019 – Orient Land Trust

Something amazing happened to me yesterday and I’m still trying to understand my lesson. First I have to tell the back story.

32 years ago I was a Homicide Detective and I investigated the most hideous case of my career. Two killers had abducted a child and gave her a painful, lingering, terror filled death. A month ago the Prosecutor’s office subpoenaed me back to Michigan to testify in a re-sentencing hearing for one of the killers of Mary, the 13 year old victim.

When the Prosecutor called I asked what he needed from me. His answer was, “Michael I need you to bring the horror”. He mailed me a thumb drive containing my old homicide book. It was filled with Police reports, confessions, crime scene photos and an autopsy report. As I prepared for this case I picked scab and twisted bone within my mind – Nightmares found me again. I flew to Michigan and spent days testifying in Court. I was the State’s only witness to the dusty facts, the stuff of my nightmares. In the end we lost as the Judge, without leaving the bench, ruled in favor of the killer. She vacated his life sentence and made him eligible for parole.

I was thankful for the opportunity to speak the Truth for Mary, to again stand for her Justice, but I was stunned by the ruling. I felt I had failed her.

I staggered to my rental car parked in the multi-level city parking structure to find a $50 parking ticket slipped behind the wiper. I guess it’s going to be one of those days.

But then everything I had carried for 32 years was about to shift. I had an epiphany as I drove through the dense Michigan morning fog that hung to everything. I turned on the radio of the rental car, for the first time. The random station dialed in by some stranger was in the middle of Cyndi Lauper’s song Time after Time. I remembered that was Mary’s favorite song and it played at her funeral. I pulled to the roadside and listened to the words for the first time.

Lying in my bed, I hear the clock tick and think of you
Caught up in circles
Confusion is nothing new
Flashback, warm nights
Almost left behind
Suitcase of memories
Time after Time

After my picture fades and darkness has turned to gray
Watching through windows
You’re wondering if I’m okay
Secrets stolen from deep inside
And the drum beats out of time

If you’re lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you, I’ll be waiting
Time after time

Silent tears streamed down my cheeks as the song ended. I felt as if Mary had found a way to speak directly to me in my moments of confusion and doubt.

Back to the epiphany – I met Mary once as she laid on her autopsy table. She became my ghost as I froze that image of her tiny bullet riddled body in the deep cellular walls of my brain. On the side of the road I freed her of that. I’m going to think of her as my Guardian Angel – My Protector – Not my Ghost. I also thought I should free her from that death image, from this day forward when Mary enters my Mind I’ll imagine her before December 30th or I’ll imagine her in what Space she might now posses.

Maybe I have haunted her in the place she is now. I want Peace for her.

And now to what happened yesterday – I was at a hot spring when a young couple entered the pool with me – as our conversation flowed I told them what I just shared with you.

When I told them of my promise to Mary to remember her before December 30th (the date of her death) the woman asked, “What year”? I told her 1986.

She said, “That’s the day I was born” – I was stunned, shocked and knew there was a greater lesson in this for me. She was the first person I told this story to after the case ended. What are the chances of that?

She then said, “Maybe I’m her”. She was born 6 hours after Mary was murdered.

So what do you think? Is my lesson that I’m in the right place at the right time, how could these coincidences happen otherwise. Is it a lesson in reincarnation – did I meet Mary, beautiful, healthy and at peace.

In the end I came to realize that I had been given another gift. The Universe took down off my shelf this most horrible thing and asked me to make Peace with it.

I did.

If you’re interested in the rest of the story here is a link.

The Execution of Mary Hulbert

© 2019 – 2020, Michael Fulcher. All rights reserved.